I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
