We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize