Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
