It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
But we have bathrooms and they dont
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
