Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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