after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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