She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
