giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
