She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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