Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
