Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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