im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Randomize
