Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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