So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
