his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
