Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
