But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
