Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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