chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
