I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
