is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
