you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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