pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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