all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
