idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
