Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
