I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
