Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
