Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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