im drinking this country out of the recession.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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