My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
