Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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