why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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