found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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