dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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