why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
