I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
