I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
