i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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