I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
