I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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