i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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