I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
