We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize