She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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