I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
