and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i think im in europe. pls send help
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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