you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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