Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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