Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
nutella sex= disaster
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
