physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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