I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I faked an abortion last night.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
