I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
