For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
