i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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