My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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