I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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