who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
