love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All the doctor said was why
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
