so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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