I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
