Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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